Horse Sh@@@T

What the Frick!!!

So just for fun, you all have done it, I though I would google myself just to see what comes up. I was a little anxious just to see if my blog would show up on the first page of google, and if it did, how cool would that be.............. Right????

Well, to my dismay what was the first listing on google from a John Plyer search?????? My wife's Freaking Blog......... Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!?!?!?! What the hell is going on?????

So obviously the name of this post is what slipped out of my mouth when I saw who was first in line from the google search. What else was ahead of my blogs listing? John Plyer from Bristol England obituary!!! Which was really crazy for me to see because I spent 2 years of my life in Bristol (or around Bristol). As well as some other sites about John Plyer's grocery stores in Arkansas or what ever they are.

Anyway, I am censoring myself so you will not have to read the profanities that came out of my mouth when this all went down. I just can't believe my wife's blog came up first on a google search of my name!!!!! It's just not right!!!

I must have nodded off!?!?!?!

I have discovered that all is fair in Love, War, and Blog Posting.  It has been difficult however, to have these lessons thrust upon me by my own wife.  On more than one occasion she has plagiarized my pictures and used them in a post, what is a man supposed to do with that???  If you can't tell by this post, it is late, I am tired, and maybe even a little punch drunk, what ever that means?  My excuse for not posting was the lack of a real computer in the house.  I hated using the laptop, but I do not have that a my fall back.  Now all I can use is I don't know how to use this newfangle space machine!!!!  

Just had to throw in a pic of the boy showing how daring he is.  It only took him one minute to get down off this cliff and into the raging river below.  It was all I could do to keep the woman at bay and allow the boy to learn what it means to be a man...

And for just fun, and maybe a possible block of a picture that may have been " Borrowed" by some one who will remain nameless (Love you babe).  Pictures like this always catch my eye, and I like to see the detail.  Let me know what you think!!!!!  I will try and not take such a break but i can not make any promises!

Eye Thing

I have to start this post with a flashback to the summer before my senior year in high school. I was playing in a summer league basketball game at the local university, for my high school team. If I was passed the ball around the free throw line I liked to take a couple dribbles and push my way to the hoop. This day was no different except for one thing...... The kid who was guarding me reached out to hit the ball at the same time I was making my power move. Needless to say the guy stopped me in my tracks, not because he was an amazing basketball player, but because his finger went deep into my eye. Sparing the gory details, I was seeing double for a couple days, and had scratches on eyeball!!
Everything healed up fine except for one thing.
My new fear of anything going into my eyes!!!!!
For this reason I have only had my eyes checked one other time, I have glasses, and there is no way in hell I would ever wear contacts because that would mean I would have to put something into my eye!!
That intro was all for this. I went and had my eyes checked this last week because my old glasses are scratched up to the point where they are pretty much useless, and I had a funny feeling my vision has deteriorated in my old age. The first little while was fine, no big deal however, but then the guy wanted to put drops in my eye. I made it through with a warning to the Doc, that I will flinch, and lose all control of my reflexes, so a shot to the groin would not be out of the realm of possibility. His approach was cautious but we made it through with him only missing my eye 3 times! There were a couple fairly violent twitches that may have contributed. After the extremely bright blue light was touching my eyes, I though I was in the clear and when the Doc, asked if he could dilate my eyes I agreed without hesitation (besides what could be worse than what I had just dealt with... Right?!?). Little did I know this required more drops, more violent spasms from me, more wiping my cheeks clean of some horrible solution because of my high school flash backs, and more extremely bright lights being shined into my eyes mere fractions from my eyeballs!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say, I didn't mind the enhanced sensitivity to light and the blurry drive back to work. I was through the worst. I just sat in my office with the lights off for the rest of the day and dealt with the headache brought on by the stress of the situation.
And for the record I don't think I could ever get Laser Eye surgery because I have seen what they do to you on discovery health!!!!!!!!!!

Set up like a sucker!

So the other day I was talking to my wife, typical conversation about whatever ( i know typical man that really doesn't even know what the conversation was about, and I didn't lock it away in my memory as one of those most important things to always remember!). As much as I like to think I am an anomaly and can do more than one thing at the same time, sometimes my guard is down and Monica springs a sneak attack!!!!

This was one of those moments.

Again not being able to recall the actual conversation may take away from the post, but I don't really care because I need to throw this out there so all men know they are not alone. My loving wife had said something about herself that was a little negative. ( I know never agree with these statements however, it wasn't a comment that set off the def con 5 alarm, like "do I look fat", "do these jeans make my butt look big", you all know what I am talking about). So she got a comment in under the radar, and I, (also watching t.v. at this moment, Remember, inherently I am still only a man) agreed with her. Hook, line, and sinker...... (SON-of-a-BIT@#) She had me and it only took moments for those internal alarms to wake up out of that deep slumber.... too late..


Lucky for me it was a minor comment, however my wife has learned some sarcasm and teasing from me, and needless to say, I don't like when she has the upper hand. I believe with every fiber of my being that you damn women throw those slow pitches out there just to see what happens, and then use these situations to your advantage to get what you want... Not to say it isn't an impressive tactic, I just wish you would attempt such things without jingling those shinny keys as a distraction. Damn women!!

So to end this post I will quote Red Green and the Man's Prayer.

I am a man, but I can change, if I have to, I Guess"

late

P.S. Remember, I am the man of the house!!!!!!!!!!! At least while you are at the gym.....

I know my wife knows how much I love her, and we are so comfortable in our relationship that I have the freedom to blog such things without any type of repercussions.......

right babe?????...................

BABE???????!!!!!!!!

Dammit!!!!!!

Late Night

So I got talking with my brother about the difficulties of taking pictures at night so again here is a scanned photo that I had done 4 or so years ago for a class. Printed in a dark room, this print did the best out of all the other ones I had done during this class.....

Ok people, I have taken a lot of heat for the name of my blog, but I am standing by it, I thought it was funny, and to tell you the truth, one of the main reasons why I created this blog in the first place.

As for life in the fast lane, I have come to the realization that I have 3 months to get into shape before the summer, is anyone willing to wager whether or not I can drop the chubby to get freaking buff!!!! I would bet against it.... We will see what happens, the motivation only comes once a week with Biggest loser, and I have yet to watch it tonight!!!!!! And to tell you the truth it just seems too hard.... No hilarious stories this post, but I am sure I will do something stupid or embarrassing to entertain the masses soon.......

Late

The original 3

Wow!!! So I have been mocking my wife for who knows how long because she is a blog addict, well now I have not only embraced her blogging way of life, but I am taking it one step beyond that. I am actually blogging??? We will see if I can keep this up, and for how long, but what the hell, I can justify these actions and still feel secure in my manhood because it is now my "journal". I thought I would show one of my prints from years ago when people still shot film SLR's and actually printed pictures in a dark room. I will probably share a few more of these, but I don't like the amount of detail lost in the scan.
The picture of course is; Monica (the love of my life), Bear (the most hyper & stubborn Lab in existence) and me!!! I took this picture on a day we were going out to shoot some more pictures for my photo class, must have been 4 0r 5 years ago! Freaking crazy.